you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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