id be glad to
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
