They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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