ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
