so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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