That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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