im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
