Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
