you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
