Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
