There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
