HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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