I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
