I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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