Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
