its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize