I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
