I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
