Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
