at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
