I am in a vortex of obligation.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
pray to the hookup gods
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
