Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize