My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Me too!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
