had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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