You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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