This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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