how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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