Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I understand Curling. That high.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
