Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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