Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize