My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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