I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
