Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
