bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Pooping to opera.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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