i think i have herpe
just one?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
