when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
