How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
