I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
