I've blown a few things in my day
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Randomize