We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
