All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
