I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
