I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
