I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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