i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize