I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize