Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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