is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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