Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
