No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
