What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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