Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
