Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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