Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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