She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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