Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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