Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
