just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm at about main and main street
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
A bitchslap is in order.
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