Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
