yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I need water and some morals
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
