He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
