shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
