I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
