if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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